So, I have a confession to make.
I'm in love with Insanity.
You're probably thinking I'm crazy right about now, and I would have to agree with you. It kicks my ass from here to Sunday six days a week. I'm drenched in sweat and feel like my lungs and every muscle in my body are about to explode after every work out. I wake up sore and stiff. How could there possibly be anything to love about it?
The challenge it presents. The fact that I'm already seeing differences in my body. The fact that my endurance is markedly improving after only a week. The unspoken promise that after these 60 days I'll be in the best shape I've been in in recent years.
Doug and I started Insanity together last Monday. I had been doing it on my own without him the week prior by looking the videos up on Youtube. Then we bought it and I decided to start over at Day 1 with him. Here's a quick recap of week one:
Each day, you begin with the same warm-up routine. Start by jogging in place, following with jumping jacks. Both are pretty self-explanatory. After jumping jacks are Heismans and 1-2-3 drills. Heismans are simply jumping from one foot to the other, keeping your knees slightly bent and just wider than hip-width apart. When you land, contract your oblique muscles and lift the leg that isn't on the floor to be about level with your hip. 1-2-3 drills are Heismans with a quick 1-2 step between jumps, where on the 3 count you'll land like you did when doing the Heisman and lifting the leg that you didn't land on. Next up are butt kicks and high knees. Again, self-explanatory. Finally, mummy kicks. Arms are straight out in front of you, and legs are kept straight. Alternate kicks while keeping your legs straight, and bring your arms together in front of you so that one arm goes above the other (keeping arms straight the whole time). Bring the arms back out to shoulder-width apart then bring them back together, this time with the opposite arm going on top. Easy peasy.
Day 1 - Fit Test (Monday)
Going into day one, you might be thinking, "Oh, it's just a fit test. It can't be that difficult." You'd also be wrong. The Fit Test consists of eight exercises, each to be performed at max speed for a minute all while keeping count of how many are done correctly. After the warm-up, I was sweating and feeling it, but I wasn't beat. If anything, I was looking forward to doing the rest of the workout and seeing how well I did.
The challenge it presents. The fact that I'm already seeing differences in my body. The fact that my endurance is markedly improving after only a week. The unspoken promise that after these 60 days I'll be in the best shape I've been in in recent years.
Doug and I started Insanity together last Monday. I had been doing it on my own without him the week prior by looking the videos up on Youtube. Then we bought it and I decided to start over at Day 1 with him. Here's a quick recap of week one:
Each day, you begin with the same warm-up routine. Start by jogging in place, following with jumping jacks. Both are pretty self-explanatory. After jumping jacks are Heismans and 1-2-3 drills. Heismans are simply jumping from one foot to the other, keeping your knees slightly bent and just wider than hip-width apart. When you land, contract your oblique muscles and lift the leg that isn't on the floor to be about level with your hip. 1-2-3 drills are Heismans with a quick 1-2 step between jumps, where on the 3 count you'll land like you did when doing the Heisman and lifting the leg that you didn't land on. Next up are butt kicks and high knees. Again, self-explanatory. Finally, mummy kicks. Arms are straight out in front of you, and legs are kept straight. Alternate kicks while keeping your legs straight, and bring your arms together in front of you so that one arm goes above the other (keeping arms straight the whole time). Bring the arms back out to shoulder-width apart then bring them back together, this time with the opposite arm going on top. Easy peasy.
Day 1 - Fit Test (Monday)
Going into day one, you might be thinking, "Oh, it's just a fit test. It can't be that difficult." You'd also be wrong. The Fit Test consists of eight exercises, each to be performed at max speed for a minute all while keeping count of how many are done correctly. After the warm-up, I was sweating and feeling it, but I wasn't beat. If anything, I was looking forward to doing the rest of the workout and seeing how well I did.
First were switch kicks. To correctly perform a switch kick, you hold your hands in a boxing stance and kick one leg as high up as you can, contracting your core in the process. As soon as you land, kick the other leg up. That counts as one repetition. When I did them, I counted each individual kick instead of every other, so I ended up with 90 kicks, or 45 reps. Not bad for my first try at them. I wasn't able to get my legs as high as the girl in the picture, but I'll get there.
Next were power jacks. Oh, how my butt and thighs hate power jacks. Basically, do a jumping jack but when you come back down you land in a squat position. Power back up from the floor, then back down into a squat. I did 37 of them.
Then on to power knees. As you can tell from the pictures, they aren't complicated. Balance on one foot and bring your other knee to your chest, starting with that foot behind you. Exhale with each lift and keep the core tight. My lack of solid balance led to questionable form. Total number of those: 54
Power jumps came after that. Jump as high as you can and bring your knees level with your hips when you're in the air. Simple, right? Wrong. By this point, my thighs were dead. Not painful, mind you. They just didn't want to move. Total: 30
Globe Jumps. These killed me. Killed me. Squat down. Jump straight up and travel forward. Land in a squat-like position with your knees bent and hands touching the floor. Jump up and to the right. Land. Jump up and backwards. Land. Jump up and to the left. Land. Congratulations. You've done one full set. Now do that for another minute. Eff. That. I got all of 4 sets of those in.
Suicide jumps were actually not that bad! I like anything that involves plank position, so these were alright. Crouch down and jump your feet back into plank position. Jump your feet up between your hands and power up from the floor. Feet should leave the ground. Land, crouch, and do it all over again. As much as I actually enjoyed these, my ass was dragging by this point so I got 17 of them. Not where I'd like to be, but it was only my first time doing them.
Push-up Jacks might be the death of me. They will, at least, be the death of my upper arm flab. Given my lack of ability to do even one correct push-up, these were rough. Basically, do a typical push-up but when you lower yourself back down, jump your feet out to be wider than your shoulders. The feet part isn't bad. The push-up part needs work. I can't remember off the top of my head how many of those I did either. I did 20 of those.
Last but not least, Low Plank Obliques. By this point, my shoulders and triceps were aching and my thighs were nothing more than dead weight. But, by God, I was getting through this last exercise. Get in the plank position and bring one knee up to meet your elbow, contracting the oblique in the process. Switch legs and do the same thing. These were a nice change of pace. I did 50 of those!
Finish that off with some stretching and cool down work, and voila! Done!
Day 2 - Plyometric Cardio Circuit (Tuesday)
Warm up. Stretch. Go!
Round 1:
Suicide Drills – Moving side to side and touching the ground each time! You know with a name like “Suicide” it has to be fun! You really have a great opportunity to work the abs in this move as you go down and contract the lower ab muscles.
Next were power jacks. Oh, how my butt and thighs hate power jacks. Basically, do a jumping jack but when you come back down you land in a squat position. Power back up from the floor, then back down into a squat. I did 37 of them.
Then on to power knees. As you can tell from the pictures, they aren't complicated. Balance on one foot and bring your other knee to your chest, starting with that foot behind you. Exhale with each lift and keep the core tight. My lack of solid balance led to questionable form. Total number of those: 54
Power jumps came after that. Jump as high as you can and bring your knees level with your hips when you're in the air. Simple, right? Wrong. By this point, my thighs were dead. Not painful, mind you. They just didn't want to move. Total: 30
Globe Jumps. These killed me. Killed me. Squat down. Jump straight up and travel forward. Land in a squat-like position with your knees bent and hands touching the floor. Jump up and to the right. Land. Jump up and backwards. Land. Jump up and to the left. Land. Congratulations. You've done one full set. Now do that for another minute. Eff. That. I got all of 4 sets of those in.
Suicide jumps were actually not that bad! I like anything that involves plank position, so these were alright. Crouch down and jump your feet back into plank position. Jump your feet up between your hands and power up from the floor. Feet should leave the ground. Land, crouch, and do it all over again. As much as I actually enjoyed these, my ass was dragging by this point so I got 17 of them. Not where I'd like to be, but it was only my first time doing them.
Push-up Jacks might be the death of me. They will, at least, be the death of my upper arm flab. Given my lack of ability to do even one correct push-up, these were rough. Basically, do a typical push-up but when you lower yourself back down, jump your feet out to be wider than your shoulders. The feet part isn't bad. The push-up part needs work. I can't remember off the top of my head how many of those I did either. I did 20 of those.
Last but not least, Low Plank Obliques. By this point, my shoulders and triceps were aching and my thighs were nothing more than dead weight. But, by God, I was getting through this last exercise. Get in the plank position and bring one knee up to meet your elbow, contracting the oblique in the process. Switch legs and do the same thing. These were a nice change of pace. I did 50 of those!
Finish that off with some stretching and cool down work, and voila! Done!
Day 2 - Plyometric Cardio Circuit (Tuesday)
Warm up. Stretch. Go!
Round 1:
Suicide Drills – Moving side to side and touching the ground each time! You know with a name like “Suicide” it has to be fun! You really have a great opportunity to work the abs in this move as you go down and contract the lower ab muscles.
Power Squats – This move is hard for me, primarily because my legs need a lot of work. Your quads will be screaming in this move. Imagine doing a jumping jack, only going down into a squat instead of up in the air!
Mountain Climbers – It’s like rock climbing, only you are standing up and extending your arms and climbing in the air.
Ski Down – Picture yourself literally skiing down a huge mountain. You do this while jumping back and forth. This move is death for my legs.
Mountain Climbers – It’s like rock climbing, only you are standing up and extending your arms and climbing in the air.
Ski Down – Picture yourself literally skiing down a huge mountain. You do this while jumping back and forth. This move is death for my legs.
Repeat round 1 two more times. Tired yet?
In between the two rounds, you do Switch Feet and Football Wide Sprints just for fun with a few 30 second breaks at the end of each circuit. Again, tired yet?
Deep breath. Round 2:
Basketball Drills – Fun sports drill where you are aiming for the 3-point shot. Get down, pick up the ball, and shoot it up! Again, and again, and again. Tired? Shut the hell up and get the ball!
Level 1 Drills – Go down, do 4 push-ups. Do 4 mountain climbers. Stand up and put your hand in the air. Go back down. repeat. Love. Love. Love. Love. Easily my favorite move of them all. Easy? Hell no. Does it work every muscle you possess? Sure does!
Ski Drills – Ab work to the maximum. You stay in plank, and move your legs from side to side. Shoulders and Tris were screaming at me. Obliques felt nice and tight.
In-and-Outs – Still in the plank move (you spend a lot of time on the floor in round 2). This time, instead of going side-to-side as you do in the Ski Drills, you are going in and out with your legs. A full ab workout. Love it!
Repeat round 2 two more times. By the end of the third circuit, I was getting in the plank position just to end up putting my knees on the ground, curling up into Child's Pose and pounding the floor with my fist in frustration. It was tough and it took every ounce of energy I had to get back up. But I loved every. single. minute.
Okay, finished with that so it's cool down time, right? HA! Shaun T says think again.
In between the two rounds, you do Switch Feet and Football Wide Sprints just for fun with a few 30 second breaks at the end of each circuit. Again, tired yet?
Deep breath. Round 2:
Basketball Drills – Fun sports drill where you are aiming for the 3-point shot. Get down, pick up the ball, and shoot it up! Again, and again, and again. Tired? Shut the hell up and get the ball!
Level 1 Drills – Go down, do 4 push-ups. Do 4 mountain climbers. Stand up and put your hand in the air. Go back down. repeat. Love. Love. Love. Love. Easily my favorite move of them all. Easy? Hell no. Does it work every muscle you possess? Sure does!
Ski Drills – Ab work to the maximum. You stay in plank, and move your legs from side to side. Shoulders and Tris were screaming at me. Obliques felt nice and tight.
In-and-Outs – Still in the plank move (you spend a lot of time on the floor in round 2). This time, instead of going side-to-side as you do in the Ski Drills, you are going in and out with your legs. A full ab workout. Love it!
Repeat round 2 two more times. By the end of the third circuit, I was getting in the plank position just to end up putting my knees on the ground, curling up into Child's Pose and pounding the floor with my fist in frustration. It was tough and it took every ounce of energy I had to get back up. But I loved every. single. minute.
Okay, finished with that so it's cool down time, right? HA! Shaun T says think again.
Jabs – take on your boxing skills with some jabs!
Cross Jacks – one arm up, both legs cross, and switch. This is a cool move once you get the hang of it.
Uppercuts – Punch that guy under his chin! This is a good move for your biceps. Also, keep your core tight on all of these moves and it will pay off nicely.
Attacks - in the same pose as the football drills. This time you are throwing open palms against your target. I wasn't doing these much, if at all. My quads were done, so just getting into the correct stance was a joke. But I half-assed it and finished them. That counts for something, right?As soon as the stretching and cool down were finished, I was stoked. Not because it was over, but because I had made it the whole way through. Did I take breaks? Absolutely. Did I want to quit? Never. Turning it off and saying I'm done was never an option.
Day 3 - Cardio Power and Resistance (Wednesday)
We didn't do this one last week! Doug took the dirt bike out to a practice track and didn't get home until after 9. He was beat, so we decided to just pick up with Cardio Recovery tomorrow. Day off!
Day 4 - Cardio Recovery (Thursday)
Recovery = Easy, right?
Wrong.
So wrong.You start of with low squats and move straight into squat holds and low pulses. This quick exercise really gets the hamstrings and glutes burning. I had to take a couple second break in the middle of low pulses but was able to finish strong.
After a short break, you start working your right glute and quad with 16 slow lunges and then you go directly into lunge holds and pulses. Once again, the quad and glutes are going to explode.
Another short break and you switch to your left leg with 16 slow lunges and lunge holds and pulses. No break yet, you go into about a 2 minute plie yoga stretch. This one really opens up your hips, and made me want to lay down and die. My quads were on fire and I was drenched in sweat. Drenched. We weren't even moving that much! Sad.
Quick break and into quad strengtheners This was a new move for me and actually a pretty difficult one, given how dead my quads already were. Get on all fours and bring your knees together. Now lift your knees off the floor so only your toes and hands are touching. Lift the right leg straight out and work the glutes by pulsing them higher in the air. Switch to the left leg and you're done with quad stretchers. This was about the time that I remarked that Shaun T. is the spawn of Satan.
After a short break, you start working your right glute and quad with 16 slow lunges and then you go directly into lunge holds and pulses. Once again, the quad and glutes are going to explode.
Another short break and you switch to your left leg with 16 slow lunges and lunge holds and pulses. No break yet, you go into about a 2 minute plie yoga stretch. This one really opens up your hips, and made me want to lay down and die. My quads were on fire and I was drenched in sweat. Drenched. We weren't even moving that much! Sad.
Quick break and into quad strengtheners This was a new move for me and actually a pretty difficult one, given how dead my quads already were. Get on all fours and bring your knees together. Now lift your knees off the floor so only your toes and hands are touching. Lift the right leg straight out and work the glutes by pulsing them higher in the air. Switch to the left leg and you're done with quad stretchers. This was about the time that I remarked that Shaun T. is the spawn of Satan.
Break. Now it’s time for an oblique move. Get into the same position as before but this time instead of lifting your leg straight and towards the ceiling, you ‘crunch’ your right leg into your right arm and then repeat on the left side after a short break. This one I loved because my obliques need some serious work, and that's exactly what they got. The burn felt good!
No more breaks, it’s time to finish strong with more core isometric and stretching moves. From downward dog you move into a hip flexor stretch and then right into a table top balance pose (right and left leg). Balance here can be pretty difficult so concentrate on your breathing and try to find a single spot to focus your eyes. Next, stand on one leg and bring your knee to your chest. Another balance posture, and you do both right and left legs. Now, knee to oblique stretch is the same concept but instead of bringing your knee to your chest you bring your knee up and open it out wide. Finish off with a simple hamstring stretch, hip openers, and then contract and relax your back from the hip opener pose. All done!
Day 5 - Pure Cardio (Friday)
This one should be called "Pure Hell". You know it's going to be a good time when even the instructor says he's nervous for the upcoming workout. Shaun T. literally forgets the name of his moves near the end of the workout. The people in the DVD start falling over and taking massive breaks. Shaun T. literally says at the end: “This sh** is bananas!” You know the drill. Warm up. Stretch. Get to it! This time you do the warm up three times, increasing the intensity and speed with each circuit. Kill me now.
Then comes the fun.
Suicide Drills
Switch Kicks
Wide Football Stance
Stance Jacks
Pedal
Hooks and Jump Rope
Power Jacks
Level 2 Drills – This is like Level 1 Drills, but instead of 4/4 you do 8/8 (Push-Ups/Mountain Climbers). It was right about here that I was thinking, "Are you FUCKING kidding me right now, Shaun T?!"
Frog Jumps
Power Knees
Mountain Climbers
Ski Down
Scissor Runs
Push-Up JacksThe workout is 38 minutes and 18 seconds long, and is made up of an eleven minute warm up, a six minute stretch, the main workout which is only 15 minutes, and a final five minute cool down stretch. Total number of water breaks? Two. Total number of seconds of both water breaks combined? 120. That’s right. Pure Cardio is practically non-stop. You may be thinking that a 15 minute main workout is nothing, but consider: you don’t get to stop. I took quite a few more breaks than we were given, and I was on the floor curled up through more exercises than I'm proud enough to admit by the end. The point is, though, that I was up and doing the last exercise and stretches. I finished it, which is important. I felt like I was dying, and I was disappointed because I knew I could have given more than I did. Good news is, we get to do it all over again in a few days since day 2 of next week is the same routine. Bad news is, we get to do it all over again in a few days since day 2 of next week is the same routine.
Day 6 - Plyometric Cardio Circuit (Saturday)Repeat of Day 2 and I'm thoroughly disappointed in myself at this point. I expected to do better this time since it was the second time through it. In a way I did, but in others I didn't. I made it through the entire warm up with only taking two breaks more than what Shaun T gave us, and those breaks consisted of standing with my hands on my knees and breathing deeply for 30 seconds then I was back at it. So I rested only a full minute more than what was worked into the routine. That I'm proud of. High knees usually do me in because my lower abs need work. This time, I stared at the spot where our living room wall meets the ceiling and zoned out for that minute and kept moving. Did it suck? Abso-fucking-lutely. Did I do it anyway? I surely did.
But once we got into the real work out, I realized that pushing myself that hard during the warm up was dumb because I had next to nothing left to give. I half-assed a lot of it, which isn't acceptable. I have to keep reminding myself that I'm still new at this and, while there's room for improvement, I'm not going to be as good as the people on the dvd or even as good as Doug. Yet. That's the important word. Yet. Give me 54 more days of this and we'll see just how often I decide to take a break.
Progress:
-My calves and quads are noticeably stronger and more solid
-My size 5 jeans are falling off after I wear them for about an hour. My thighs are still pretty killer so my jeans have to stretch to accommodate them. Once they do, they're falling off.
-Endurance is getting better, as demonstrated by my being able to get through the warm up almost in its entirety on day 6
-Hello, upper obliques! I'm already getting a slight dip between my upper abs and obliques. Granted, I have to contract my abs to really see it, but it's there!
All that just in the first week. I'll take it!
No more breaks, it’s time to finish strong with more core isometric and stretching moves. From downward dog you move into a hip flexor stretch and then right into a table top balance pose (right and left leg). Balance here can be pretty difficult so concentrate on your breathing and try to find a single spot to focus your eyes. Next, stand on one leg and bring your knee to your chest. Another balance posture, and you do both right and left legs. Now, knee to oblique stretch is the same concept but instead of bringing your knee to your chest you bring your knee up and open it out wide. Finish off with a simple hamstring stretch, hip openers, and then contract and relax your back from the hip opener pose. All done!
Day 5 - Pure Cardio (Friday)
This one should be called "Pure Hell". You know it's going to be a good time when even the instructor says he's nervous for the upcoming workout. Shaun T. literally forgets the name of his moves near the end of the workout. The people in the DVD start falling over and taking massive breaks. Shaun T. literally says at the end: “This sh** is bananas!” You know the drill. Warm up. Stretch. Get to it! This time you do the warm up three times, increasing the intensity and speed with each circuit. Kill me now.
Then comes the fun.
Suicide Drills
Switch Kicks
Wide Football Stance
Stance Jacks
Pedal
Hooks and Jump Rope
Power Jacks
Level 2 Drills – This is like Level 1 Drills, but instead of 4/4 you do 8/8 (Push-Ups/Mountain Climbers). It was right about here that I was thinking, "Are you FUCKING kidding me right now, Shaun T?!"
Frog Jumps
Power Knees
Mountain Climbers
Ski Down
Scissor Runs
Push-Up JacksThe workout is 38 minutes and 18 seconds long, and is made up of an eleven minute warm up, a six minute stretch, the main workout which is only 15 minutes, and a final five minute cool down stretch. Total number of water breaks? Two. Total number of seconds of both water breaks combined? 120. That’s right. Pure Cardio is practically non-stop. You may be thinking that a 15 minute main workout is nothing, but consider: you don’t get to stop. I took quite a few more breaks than we were given, and I was on the floor curled up through more exercises than I'm proud enough to admit by the end. The point is, though, that I was up and doing the last exercise and stretches. I finished it, which is important. I felt like I was dying, and I was disappointed because I knew I could have given more than I did. Good news is, we get to do it all over again in a few days since day 2 of next week is the same routine. Bad news is, we get to do it all over again in a few days since day 2 of next week is the same routine.
Day 6 - Plyometric Cardio Circuit (Saturday)Repeat of Day 2 and I'm thoroughly disappointed in myself at this point. I expected to do better this time since it was the second time through it. In a way I did, but in others I didn't. I made it through the entire warm up with only taking two breaks more than what Shaun T gave us, and those breaks consisted of standing with my hands on my knees and breathing deeply for 30 seconds then I was back at it. So I rested only a full minute more than what was worked into the routine. That I'm proud of. High knees usually do me in because my lower abs need work. This time, I stared at the spot where our living room wall meets the ceiling and zoned out for that minute and kept moving. Did it suck? Abso-fucking-lutely. Did I do it anyway? I surely did.
But once we got into the real work out, I realized that pushing myself that hard during the warm up was dumb because I had next to nothing left to give. I half-assed a lot of it, which isn't acceptable. I have to keep reminding myself that I'm still new at this and, while there's room for improvement, I'm not going to be as good as the people on the dvd or even as good as Doug. Yet. That's the important word. Yet. Give me 54 more days of this and we'll see just how often I decide to take a break.
Progress:
-My calves and quads are noticeably stronger and more solid
-My size 5 jeans are falling off after I wear them for about an hour. My thighs are still pretty killer so my jeans have to stretch to accommodate them. Once they do, they're falling off.
-Endurance is getting better, as demonstrated by my being able to get through the warm up almost in its entirety on day 6
-Hello, upper obliques! I'm already getting a slight dip between my upper abs and obliques. Granted, I have to contract my abs to really see it, but it's there!
All that just in the first week. I'll take it!
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